Blonde Moments !   We all have our blonde moments ... or? Here's some blonde jokes!! Enjoy!

 

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There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please." "It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this,"she said smiling. "That's impossible!"     The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."     The blonde then reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."      She pointed to the bottom of the license, "See? it says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

Blonde Judi is explaining to Monica the bad day she'd had at work. Judi's boss had suffered a heart attack and died. Monica said, "How horrible! What did you do?" Judi shook her head. "There was nothing I 'could* do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn't tell me the rest of the numbers!"

Two blonde girls were taking their first train trip to Arkansas on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"

There was a blonde sitting next to a man on an airplane. About 1 hr. into the flight the pilot comes on and says over the intercom, "One of our four engines is out, we will be about fifteen minutes late arriving."About 30 min. later the pilot comes on the intercom again and say "There is a second engine out, we will be about 30 min. late." Fifteen minutes after that the pilot comes on again and says "I'm sorry to say that there is a third engine out, we'll be about 1 hr. late arriving at our destination." The blond turns to the man and says "Man, if that forth engine goes out, we'll be up here all day."

Why do blondes leave empty milk cartons in the fridge?
In case someone wants black coffee.

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?" The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.

A man comes home from work to his blonde wife who has both her cheeks severly burnt.     "Oh my word, what happened to you dear?"     "Well," she said somewhat embarrased, " I was ironing your shirts when the telephone rang." "I am sorry, that must have hurt. But how come the other cheek is burnt as well?"     "Well, I had to call the doctor..."

Two blondes walk into a building......
you'd think one of them would have seen it.

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament in Atlantic City. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level.    The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate.     When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them. The brunette says, "What is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"      One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver down there!"

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.The prosecutor opened his questioning with, - "Where were you the night of August 24th?" - "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"  - "Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question." - "I object!" the defense said again. - "No, reall ay," said the blonde. "I'll answer." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."    So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?" The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know."

I went to pick up my car the other day and my mechanic who just
happens to be blonde told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I
made your horn louder."

The blonde called up the airline ticket counter and asked,   "How long are your flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?"   The counterman answered, "Just a minute."   At which, the blonde thanked him and hung up.

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